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honest parenthood


Things that no one tells you about Parenthood | Part 2

 Here we are, guys. Some three odd months after my last post about how crappy things were and how nobody warned me, but how happy I was. Looking back, I was pretty much lying to all of you and to myself. (Sorry! I think i was trying to trick myself into thinking I was having fun to get through that rough patch?) Everyone kept telling us that things would get better after the first two weeks, then it was six weeks, two months and three months.. and for the most part, it did. It wasn't even Arlo being colicky that was so bad. Yeah, she never wanted to be put down, cried all the time and barely napped unless being held.. but it was much more the adjustment to being a new parent that got me.  Who am I kidding, I am STILL adjusting. I'm not sure you ever stop adjusting once you become a parent.

The internet is a funny place where everyone picks and chooses what they share with the world, shaping their {internet} lives into shiny, perfect places for everyone to marvel over. Well, I'm calling bullshit. I find it much more comforting to read or view the real, unedited version. So, know that my blog posts are never intended to sound whiny and/or full of complaints. They are much more meant to make you feel better about your life, by looking into mine (ha- you're welcome?).

Things nobody tells you:

Mommy (or daddy) guilt is real, and it sucks. I am still feeling some major guilt for the first three months of Arlo's life. At times, I felt like the hospital sent me home with this stranger that I knew nothing about, who just cried and pooped all the time.  I know I've mentioned it before, but It makes me so sad that post partum depression got the best of me in those first few months, and I really didn't bond with her like I should have as her momma.

Nobody tells you how awesome you'll feel when you get some free time from your child. This will immediately be followed by guilt for feeling so awesome, and then an insane amount of miss for them. It's a funny thing, this love.

 It is SUCH a crazy thing to watch your child grow into an independent little human. You can't imagine the pride you'll feel when you watch your child learn something new. ("She just rolled over?!, Our baby is the smartest baby in THE WORLD!")

EVERY baby is different. I wish someone would have tattooed this on my forehead the day we were discharged from the hospital as a constant reminder to myself. At 4 months old, Arlo's bed time was anywhere from 10:30- 12pm, and she was still waking up every two hours at night to nurse. Nothing would feel crappier than waking up the next morning to find someone instagramming about how their two month old just slept through the night. All I could think was "WHYYYY can't this happen for us??!" Every baby is different, comparing your situation to another's will just drive you crazy.

Everyone has an opinion about how you should parent. About three weeks ago, when I had reached the point of complete frustration and exhaustion, we decided to let Arlo 'cry it out' for bedtime. I was so opposed to it, mainly because I have turned into this granola-crunchy mom that I never really thought I'd be, but also because I had heard and read so many  opinions from other people telling me how 'wrong' and 'harmful' it was. In the end, you really have to listen to your gut and do what you think is right. And for the record- bedtime for us is SO much less stressful, and she actually falls asleep at a normal time (8-9pm). A huge part of parenting is finding what works for you and your child, and telling the naysayers to shove it.

To go along with that, Parents are judgmental. It seems like the first ones to shame parents are other parents. You cloth diaper? Hooray for you. You use formula? That's great. You co-sleep? Cool, bro. Don't judge me, I won't judge you. Like I said above, whatever works for you. I've got bigger and better things to worry about than being put down by other moms for my decisions as a mother. Back off, lady.

This parenting thing is no joke.  As soon as you think you've got it figured out, those little humans go and change the game up on you. I'm assuming no one really tells you ALL of the ups and downs that come with parenthood because the good will always outweigh the bad .. but sometimes it's nice to know that when you are in the bad, you aren't alone. This is the fiercest, craziest, most heart exploding love I've ever felt, so really, even the shittiest of days are pretty awesome.

(Yeah, still working on that swearing thing..)