Confession: My baby is in her car seat on the dryer right now. She is colicky and in between feedings, has been screaming all day. As I keep turning around to check on her, I see her eyes get heavier and heavier. Soon she'll either give in to the sleepiness or start crying, and all I keep thinking is, 'this is my life now.'... in order to get things done during the day, I have to set my baby on a dryer.
There are a lot of things you can expect when preparing for a baby... dirty diapers, sleep deprivation, crying (not just from the baby). But there are so many things that no one tells you about when it comes to being a new parent. I never imagined that having to ask my spouse permission to use the bathroom or take a shower or prepare myself a meal would become a normal thing. Gone are the days when I could just slip on my shoes and grab my purse to head out the door. Leaving the house is now a full on production.. one that requires diapers, wipes, an extra outfit, the baby to be changed and fed and probably changed once more.. all to get in the car and realize the diaper bag was forgotten inside. I'm also wondering why no one told me that the little sleep I manage to sneak in will be interrupted by every sneeze, blink, coo, and cry. Goodbye, deep sleep. I'll see you in fifteen years when my daughter is a hormonal teenager. Speaking of hormones, can we talk about postpartum hormones? Though I was warned about this, I had no idea that I would spend a month and a half crying hysterically. Seriously, I cried everyday. Sometimes for no reason. It was horrifying. I am just now starting to feel like a normal, mentally stable human being (just don't show me any viral videos about soldiers coming home or a duck and a kitten becoming best friends, because I just can't. ). No one told me how hard breastfeeding would be, or how annoying and frustrating colic is, or that babies produce SO much laundry, or that patience is indeed a virtue.
You know what else no one told me? That as soon as that little babe gives you a smile, you sort of forget all the bad crap. That sweet little smile is enough to make you pull your head out of your ass and think, 'oh yeah, this is my life now.'.